Friday, May 20, 2011

“THE LENGTH OF SOUL’S STRENGTH”

PLEASE feel free to comment. Thank you for time. Deborah

 April 29, 2010

How long will this lie keep living
And I keep living this lie?
How long will this pain keep coming,
And I keep coming to this familiar pain?
How long will this lost soul wander
And I wander  to this lost soul?

There is so much delusion in illusion!

How long will these fears encumber this heart
And this heart succumb to fears that cry no tears?
How long will this fruit appear sweet to the eye
And the eye desire the worm-filled fruit?
How long will I travel this lonely path to Calvary
And Calvary be my only encouraging  friend?

Cursed green-leaved tree beckoning my hunger!

How long will I look toward love’s penchant
And such penchant look away from me as a Quasimodo!
How long will I believe beauty will never tarnish,
And the heaviness of unpolished beauty have no hope?
How long will you break my soul’s incessant belief
And this deadly belief never break me completely?

As long as I know there’ll be a Spring
I’ll grapple for its blossom!

·       

“A Blue Sky Yearn”

PLEASE feel free to comment. Thank you for time. Deborah

May 18, 2011


For one reason or another,
Today I yearned for a blue sky.
A guileless azure tent holding back
The possible sign of one cloud,
For even it would’ve wept with guilt
To mar with its white patch—

I lean for the dominion of rain,
Its heaviness promising brisk wind
Then, the decisive decline to waltz away.
The accent of its song cool and proud
Peeling like church bell’s reminder
Finished after hours of a mazurka’s grace—

Beguiled by a possible stolen moment
Of lazuline, opening as The Empty Tomb,
It seemed to have heard my intercessory plea
For a cerulean un-wrinkled shroud.
But, alas, t’was like a smile that shied.
Only a searching eye would glimpse to see.

For one reason or another
I missed a blue, unprecedented sky,
A refrain of godliness burning brightly clean.
May’s crown wed with an inhaling awe!
Nevertheless, a hanging low vow
Of forthcoming rain, in spite of a gold gleam.

Bewildered, like The Twelve long ago,
My heart awaits the advent of a celeste serene
To dew my soul, touching hair, dress, and feet,
A garb of jubilant Zion hymns.
My own dance under a blue so loud
That even heav’ns host would hum as creed.


Oh, come, come endowed blue
With your calming to sooth my ache;
A sky devoid of no end nor beginning!
Pierce through mind’s continent
And let the Dove awake and arouse
Hosannas kept within for a sky of blue swelling!

"Change of Status"

PLEASE feel free to comment. Thank you for time. Deborah

No husband.
No child.
Cold stone walls entombed her
As did her stone-cold marred status.

Unclean!
Rejected at any cool well, mingling
Was forbidden.
And hope had turned to a dry cactus.

Hundreds of cries,
Pleadings,
Heart spent, exhausted in hushed
Faith-filled prayers yet, rebuffed.

One cure,
A solitary boon 
Promised thousands of years before
Gleamed green as a small locust! 

 
Echoing,
Multitudes fed,
Crowds healed by The Promise
HE had come and also been scoffed.

How? She paced,
Sweeping,
Flooding thoughts spinning
And spun, “the Hem!” An unseen touch.

None would know,
Unnoticed!
“If I could crawl between the hails”
She thought...But Doubt flew in a soft buzz. 

“Unclean!”
“Unwanted!”
“Woman, hide, thou art cursed
As the leper! Sinner!” Doubt formed in clusters.

Twelve years,
Forty-eight
Seasons seen as the plagued
While her mustard seed was being tested.

“HE comes!”
Pathos and praise!
HE comes! Veiling her vileness
Her feet ran then fell, reaching, breathless.

Silence.
HE questioned,
“who touched me?” turning to see. 
Absurdity stomped, shocked hearts all across. 

Rising;
She was caught. 
Power flowed, blood cursed her no more. 
“thy faith has made thee whole” spoke the Christos.

“Change of Status”
{The change of status title has three stages; (a)  she was definitely married before her illness, (b) she was left by husband when her trial begun due to Mosaic law; therefore, changing her societal status as well.And (c) After her miracle by Jesus her status was returned in the physical and societal sense but, also within her own self she understood true status as Daughter of God and eternal status, and more importantly, she recognized Christ’s true status, not merely what she had been hearing.]

No husband. {her present status}
No child. {barrens also a curse and judgment }
Cold stone walls entombed her  { referring to the walls of her house, her loneliness and ostercisized reality, all felt like a tomb within and with out, environment and physical limits, judgments as well as spiritual imprisonment by the imposed laws}
As did her stone-cold marred status. { her status stamped her, catagorized her, and was written on stone as her license to what she was allowed to do, receive and presume, it marred her entire future.}

Unclean! { Capitalizing it expresses the enormity of her heartache, it is an image of being completely rejected]
Rejected at any cool well, mingling
Was forbidden. [ by law women she wasn’t permitted to fetch water while others were around; I added the word cool  not only to the water’s soothing drink but the to recognize how deep a well must go before there’s a cool drink, and how deep was her rejection;  mingling would dirty the other, therefore forbidden, everything we take for granted]
And hope had turned to a dry cactus. [seld explanatory since a cactus slowly withers as was her hope]

Hundreds of cries,
Pleadings,
Heart spent, exhausted in hushed
Faith-filled prayers yet, rebuffed.  [Referring to all her waiting upon God in supplicants and prayers of active faith yet, they had all been rebuffed, denied.]

One cure, [she could only reach pne cure after years of doctors, money, home remedies,
A solitary boon {a sole hope}
Promised thousands of years before [what she had heard, probably never read since women weren’t allowed such an education. I have the feeling she was a woman that was very aware of what the political scene was, a keen observer and attentive listener as to know about a so-called Savior, healing many in surrounding territories even though she was housebound to a degree. But she knew through the Spirit this Jesus of Nazareth  was that promise, her sole hope and cre.]
Gleamed green as a small locust! [green- the color of Hope; a tiny desert creature, to her mind carried a beautiful symbolic color, the size of her hope as she remembered over and over there’d be One]}

Echoing, [she had reports of Jesus that kept echoing by those around and within her]
Multitudes fed, [He had fed multitudes, this miracle was close in proximity and she [to me] saw herself as just one, she wouldn’t even be remembered especially after multitudes.]
Crowds healed by The Promise. {the jews believed in many messiahs but in hebrew and greek, Jesus/Jehova was the Promised One, from the beginning and, the Only One who’d save, heal, fulfill. This woman was definitely a believer and one of great faith}
HE had come and also been scoffed.[He had alas come and had full understanding of rejection and pushed away]

How? She paced, [immediately she started coming up with ideas as to how she’d reach him, this expresses an undying belief that her desire was possible and reachable and she wasn’t going to let anthing prohibit her from trying]
Sweeping, [a lot of women keep there hands, feet busy while they ponder; also, sweeping brings to mind a sweeping away of old thoughts, cleaning unseen corners.]
Flooding thoughts spinning [countless thoughts filled her soul,. I use the word spinning because women spinned their cloth, and each thought was spinning a seamless possibility, a way to have her prayer answered and receive her healing.]
And spun, “the Hem!” An unseen touch. [as mentioned, her pondering finally was done, it had spun the answer—His hem, totally inconspicuous, besides, she wouldn’t even leave a print behind. I thought, why not his sleeve? To my mind, it reveals not only her feelings of unworthiness, but her humility; she didn’t need others to know, not even HIM!  Her being that close was enough and, so close to hundreds that wouldn’t be dirtied by her; she didn’t wish to bother nor harm another.]

None would know,
Unnoticed!
“If I could crawl between the hails”[she even crawl [her nothingness] Hails—the image of glory, comparing her speechless hope around the songs of all who either recognized Who He was but also were crying for some blessing]
She thought...But Doubt flew in a soft buzz. {Doubt is another name fr Satan}

“Unclean!”
“Unwanted!”
“Woman, hide, thou art cursed
As the leper! Sinner!” Doubt formed in clusters.{things this woman may have had shooting thru her mind; Satan is always trying to make us feel unworthy, unclean, unwanted creating in us a distance between God and us, a fear, a sense of being forsaken ; depletion, while building himself ]

Twelve years,
Forty-eight
Seasons seen as the plagued the cutting down of years to seasons feels how heavy was her cross, her countless days, hours, prayers, loneliness and day by day seeking new solutions; everything it had cost her.]
While her mustard seed was being tested.{mustard seed reference to her faith which had been being proven twelve year with her issue of blood}

“HE comes!”[the Answer, arriving almost to her doorsteps!]
Pathos and praise! [a multitude of emotions mixed with every praise she heard outside her door, and her very own]
HE comes! Veiling her vileness [the reptition is usually emphasizing the importance of the event. Quickly she covers her rejection from possibly being discovered, shoved, scoffed at, bringing her attention]
Her feet ran then fell, reaching, breathless. [no need to explain her desire to do what she had planned without being seen.]

Silence. [her fall caught everyone’s attention]
HE questioned,
“who touched me?” turning to see. [I loved the sweet voice I’m certain He used where only those closer to him could hear, the fact that he made no commotion but thru the Spirit knew His power had been claimed by the power of one of these, the least, had enough of in order to be healed; “who” not capitalized because of her status]
Absurdity stomped, shocked hearts all across. [referring to the apostles and crowd}

Rising;[Rising not merely from her fall but also rising spiritually and cured! Now able  to lift her head without shame]
She was caught. {her fear }
Power flowed, blood cursed her no more.  {power/virtue a double meaning; thru God’s power she [we are all] cleansed, heaed, in  body, mind and emotionally]
“thy faith has made thee whole” spoke the Christos. {He validated her faith, her virtue and what allowed her to draw from Him and, allowed Him to draw near to her. I use the Greek word of Christos from Messiah which brings to mind the true title/meaning of Christ, The Anointed, reemphasizing his pre-moral and earthy, eternal role, work. I find it interesting that it is her blood that had been hemorrhaging , corrupting her body, status and possible life,  and it is Jesus’ blood that does all the opposite}


Monday, May 16, 2011

“Only IF.”

PLEASE feel free to comment. Thank you for your time. Deborah

May 9. 2011


What makes you think you will remember Me?
Will it be the multiplying or the calling forth,
The cisterns of wine or the drink asked at the well,
Perhaps, the cursed fig tree?

Will you remember Me by storm once calmed
Or the little babes that knew and praised Me?
The devils expulsed, the coin in the fish’s mouth
Or the entrance of The King with bowing palms?

What will anoint your minds to beckon thought
And awaken recollecting Me now unseen?
A parable, a widow’s mite, a lament sighed in silence,
The healed, the cleansings, the found once lost?

What wheat field will you walk through in memory,
That in hunger will blow gold as you recapture,
Ponder a Sabbath or, will it be the perfume oil
Spilt over my head as preparation by a Mary?

What will jolt My voice into your hearts when weak?
A leper made whole, the blind seeing, a damsel
Risen from beyond, the glory in a lily that spins not,
Or fallen sparrow? Desert, Valley Mountain Peak?

An upper room with a U-shaped table frought in humility
With the unleavened, the herbs and new covenant?
Cool water,  The Washing, or question, “Lord,Is it I?
Will the conquer  human forgetfulness and centricity?

What dusty path will fill your eyes at dawn’s light
Open wide a dark night’s pressed blood in anguish?
The ear restore, a mock trial of mockers and the cock
Thrice call in a crowd heard by two pair of eyes?

Will Calvary be your sting, thorn crown, and flesh stripped ?
 Or pounding hammer upon wrists and feet,
Nailed crossed while thunder and veil were rented
Past prophecies in birth as last breath spoke “it is finished”

What will make you remember Me once and again
UntiI I return? Will you see who’s before you
And see Me? You will not forget IF one of the least
Be your lamb as you were Mine, My friend.


  

“My Midnight’s Light”

PLEASE feel free to comment. Thank you for time. Deborah

April 30-2011

 {Following the poem is the explanation to it}









Forgive me, she whispered, blending
Her begging with the solitary light
From a candle shivering by hot sobs.

Book opened, eyes filled with searching,
Heart clenched as if rusted nails did bite
Deep into her need and quivering throbs.

Sin never kills in a single twinkling,
It is like a double print in black and white
Distorted but turning into the color mud.

It mildly adheres in gladsome ways, alluring
The human condition and shrouds in lies,
One, then five, multiplying like spring buds.

Her eyes clung upon The One, The Word, accepting
The woman, ashamed, “Stone her! Die! Die!”
His love spoke a flawless discourse in holy awe.

“Cast the first stone,” All waited as crowd slithering,
Crawled by The Truth, the Way and the Life,  
Shying off like serpents convicted, being caught.

“Go and sin no more...” He lifted her face, crying,
Amazed at the Glory that stood at her sight,
And went forth,  glorifying her God.

The candle dripped thinner, dimming
While she knelt her secret before The Eyes
And, bleeding no more, she rose, holding The Rod.

“My Midnight’s Light”   This is self explanatory in that I am the one reading the scriptures and usually at the midnight hour.


Forgive me, she whispered, blending I begin the scriptures with a plea of forgiveness in order to be taught, to be receptive to the Spirit as I’m being prepared.
Her begging with the solitary light  The light is a simple, archaic candle, nothing modern but simplistic.
From a candle shivering by hot sobs.  The depth of my repentance as I begin to seek, study the truth, naturally brings tears mixed with breath.

Book opened, eyes filled with searching,  Book”, capitalized since it is The Word of God. I’m searching for answers and His voice.
Heart clenched as if rusted nails did bite  All deep needs clench my heart; rusted nails, because it is a need that has yet not been met and has been rusting within. It bites, grabs me to the point of a pulsating throb.
Deep into her need and quivering throbs.It can be any need, any desire any sin or weakness, they all are un-healed and often unheard quivering pleadings.

Sin never kills in a single twinkling,  A general truth, statement that sin never is quick in its kill, there usually comes justifications and rationalization beforehand.
It is like a double print in black and white  Sometimes photos turn out in a double exposure print,
Distorted but turning into the color mud.  With the passing years pictures take on a grey, yellow color, but sin is like the color mud that sticks to us.

It mildly adheres in gladsome ways, alluring  “It” is still referring to sin, how it gladly starts to adhere to our self, beckoning, reaching out and deceiving us,
The human condition and shrouds in lies, covering our human / mortal weakness with lies of every kind,
One, then five, multiplying like spring buds.  Always multiplying by the passing of seasons. Spring—because it not only is the season of newness and burgeoning, but the myriad of types of buds/and sins.

Her eyes clung upon The One, The Word, accepting  Her” is referring to the woman [me] reading and her full attention on Jesus who is The Way, Word and,
The woman, ashamed, “Stone her! Die! Die!”  as she reads her attention turns to the woman, the adulteress, who is ashamed, and the reader [me] can hear what this woman probably was hearing from her accusers, “stone her, die!” [likening the scriptures to myself]
His love spoke a flawless discourse in holy awe.  But as I read, [the reader] is also very aware of Christ’s actions, few words, and without any spectacle He speaks a discourse through his love for this woman through his silence, no judgment or joining in with the crowd, causing a holy awe in the woman and crowd as well as the reader. Who could love as He?

“Cast the first stone,” All waited as crowd slithering,  His few words became judgment for all,; the reader, again stupified, remembering the many times she, too, had been badgered and judged as well as she has done to others.  The crowd are images of snakes [satanic] that slithered off, had no self-responsibility for their sinfulness...
Crawled by The Truth, the Way and the Life  they crawled away with self-condemnation right by the Christ [the Truth, Way, and Life]
Shying off like serpents convicted being caught. Embarrassed like serpents that pull back after hissing but never biting; convicted by their conscience and being caught when their joy was catching the woman in the act, the supposed “good deed” had turned against them, not by Christ but their own realization of guilt.

“Go and sin no more...” He lifted her face, crying,  His simply request to go, to continue living but with the condition to not repeat this sin. His gentleness of going to her, touching her face, probably lifting her off the ground as well as acknowledging her tears and pain is [to me] the depth of His understanding and yearning of every child [we being his child] to be touched, lifted, fearless of what others say.
Amazed at the Glory the stood at her sight,  The woman, as well as the reader, cannot help but be amazed at the Glory [another name for Jesus]
Going forth,  glorifying Her God. The woman quickly obeys, in body, mind and spirit, praising her God. “Her” is capitalized as she and the reader has in her heart risen above a weakness.

The candle dripped thinner, dimming  The reader has obviously taken her time in searching out the words on the page with careful perusal since the dimming and thinner candle wax tells time has passed
While she knelt her secret before The Eyes  as she knelt her secret need, desire, repentance [any weakness, sin, and gratefulness ] before “the Eyes” reference to the One who watches over us all, even in secret,
And, bleeding no more, she rose, holding The Rod.  The reader’s woun[s] has ceased bleeding, has been touched by the Great Healer, as was the woman, and rises, both in spirit and body, clinging to “the Rod, which we interpret as God’s word/ voice and, also for the writer and reader, the shepherds hook which they lean upon.